stay with me
by katebecketts
Summary: Post-ep for Valkyrie. What happens in those 24 hours that Castle has left.
1. Chapter 1

**I'm sure this is something that many other have done, or will do, but here's mine anyway. Post-ep for Valkyrie and not what I actually expect will happen in the show and definitely out of character at times but it was fun to write about even if it ended up going in a very different direction to what I first intended. No beta, so any mistakes are my own. **

_24 hours_

For a moment he's silent, unwilling to believe the words. He couldn't only have a day to live – he was meant to marry Kate and have a family with her, he was meant to be there to walk Alexis down the aisle ("_not _to Pi," he thought after the image of his little girl in a white dress came to him, unbidden). So many things that he hadn't done yet, that now he'd never get a chance to do.

Kate's eyes are watching him, gentle and soft and yet behind that he can see the pain. Pain that he caused, even if unintentional, and pain that he knew all too well himself. It was the pain he had felt when Kate had been shot at Montgomery's funeral or the pain that he felt when she was moments from death stood on that bomb.

"We're going to find a cure Rick, an antidote, something," she whispered. "You aren't dying." Her voice cracked and her steady resolve crumbled. Tears slipped unabashedly down her cheeks.

It felt like an eternity had passed when in reality it had barely been a few seconds since Kate had told him – told him that he only had a day to live.

"Kate," his voice was more of a sob than he had hoped it would be, and he couldn't find adequate words to say anything in this situation – not matter how good of a writer he may be, the shock of the news had left him speechless, unable to form any coherent sentences.

Kate had stood up and moved closer to him, sitting gently in his lap and her head tucked under his chin. Her arms wrapped around him and she could hear his heart beating – it was so strong, so steady. It was unimaginable that it could stop unless they found a cure. "I can't imagine life without you," he had told her those few months earlier, and the reverse was equally true. If Castle died… Kate wasn't sure she could handle it. He had helped her break down that wall and that left her defenceless against that kind of heartbreak. He'd die, and so would a part of her. She just wasn't sure yet exactly how – would she revert to how she was after the death of her mother, closed off from everyone or would it be worse this time? All she really knew was that she could no longer picture herself without him.

"What happens now, Kate?" Castle asked. "If they… if they don't find an antidote? What are the chances they _do_ find one? I don't want to die Kate, I don't want to die without ever having been married to you, I don't want to leave you." Once he had started to speak, his questions had come quickly as a steady stream of thought that he couldn't quite keep in control.

"They're looking. The team, they're working every possible angle, doing anything they can to find an antidote," she whispered. She couldn't even entertain the thought that they wouldn't. She had to believe he'd make it or else she wouldn't be able to cope.

"They?"

Kate chuckled, despite the circumstances. "Yeah Castle, they. I was taken off the case, for obvious reasons."

He nodded. Obvious reasons – her fiancé possibly dying in a days time, there was no way that anything else could have been the outcome in such a situation. They'd have said she was too close, too involved, too emotional to be rational right now and Castle knew her well enough to know that some small part of her probably still wanted to be out there looking for the answer.

He also knew that her desire for justice, her desire to be out there looking for herself wouldn't trump her need to be with him. She had chosen him over all of that a year ago, and they both knew where their priorities lie.

"Alexis, my mom, the guys at the Twelfth, do they know? Oh God, Kate, can I see them again?" He wouldn't cry – he wouldn't. It seemed that despite his usual exuberance and optimism and Kate's usual tendency to be pessimistic, they had switched here. Castle knew that the chances of finding an antidote were probably slim, especially given the short time window they had. He was operating on a _I-have-24-hours-to-life _mind frame whereas Kate seemed to be stuck on _he-can't-die-we'll-find-an-antidote. _

"I instructed them to fly them over here – your mom and Alexis, that is. Someone will tell them and you'll be able to see them. The guys at the Twelfth, though… they're already understaffed with people out sick and they couldn't get permission to leave. But Castle, you're going to be okay. We'll go back to New York and see them just as soon as we've sorted this mess out," she insisted but he could feel her tears soaking through his shirt and he could feel her body shaking against his.

"I love you," she murmured. "I love you, Richard Castle, and you are not leaving me. We're going to get married and we're going to have a family and we'll be safe and together and happy."

Her unwavering belief contrasted sharply with the way that she curled into his body looking for comfort, seeking that wonderful reassurance that he was _there. _He had to move.

"Kate, Kate stand up, love."

She didn't move. She wasn't sure that she could and so Castle stood up slowly, bearing the brunt of her weight as well as his.

"Can we… can we go somewhere else? Back home? Well, not home home, that would be New York, but back to the house here?"

His direct question let her answer on autopilot, without having to deal with thoughts that she couldn't bear to think at the moment. Her superiors had said they had to remain close-by, but not necessarily on the premises. Simple facts that didn't involve thinking of him dying – that she could manage.

"Yeah. I'll get someone to drive us over there now."

The next few minutes went quickly. She led them out the room, spoke to a couple of people there and then they were in the back of a car that was speeding away from her work. Her hand never left his and in the car they sat pressed against each other, his arms around her small body.

_23 hours _

"Kate, I want us to get married," Castle stated. "Today. Just in case."

Kate could understand that. It wasn't how she had imagined their wedding to be. Rushed, done out of fear that one of them might not live to the following day. "I already said yes to you. Okay. Let's get married."

Neither of them smiled.

"We'll do it properly. Afterwards."

_22 hours _

"I just heard back from the AG's office. They don't recommend anyone else coming out here, just in case of any potential danger. It's just going to be us, Castle," Kate broke the news, watching as Castle's face fell momentarily before he regained his composure.

"However, they did manage to rush through a marriage licence for us. It'll be legal, at the very least. And they found a judge who can marry us today."

"Good. Is there any…" he trailed off, about to ask if there had been an update on the case. If there had been anything good she'd have told him. He isn't sure he wants to know about anything bad. Asking was a bad idea.

"Not yet. They're still looking." They both heard the unspoken "but the longer it goes without anything being found out, the worse the chances become."

_21 hours _

After another hour with no news from the team, they figured it was time to let their family know what was going on.

Martha cried. Her usual tendency towards a light-hearted humour had dissipated after the news that her son could very well die in less than 24 hours, and she couldn't see him.

Alexis on the other hand, had yelled and lashed out, screaming about how it was all Beckett's fault. That if Beckett hadn't taken the job in DC or if she hadn't let their entire partnership begin at all… Then her father would be okay right now.

Kate could understand Alexis' anger. She remembered all too well being 19 years old and coming home to find out that her mother had been brutally murdered. The situations weren't all that different, and although she could understand the anger, it didn't stop Kate from making her feel a need to fix it. She could see the upset in Castle's eyes, and an emotional and angry teenage girl wasn't something that he needed to be dealing with. He didn't need any added stress taking a toll on his body.

"Castle, love, let me speak to Alexis. Go sit in the living room and relax for a minute, okay?"

His reluctance was evident in the scowl that appeared on his face yet he handed over the phone anyway.

"Hey Alexis. Listen to me."

"Why the fuck should I listen to you? You're the reason that my dad is dying!" Alexis screamed back. "You've hurt him so much over the years, you've been a self centred bitch and now my dad is dying because of you!"

Kate ignored the words. It was all she could do, for the moment. "Because Alexis, like you just said, your dad might be dying. And god knows my people are doing everything they can to stop that from happening but it's a possibility," her voice broke. "And I know how it feels Alexis. I lost my mum when I was 19 and I know how painful it is. But Alexis, I also know that regrets hurt more than you realise. I have to live every day, regretting that I didn't spend more time with my mum while I still could, I regret not doing more to show her how much I loved her while I could. If, God forbid, your father does die, then I can assure you that you won't want to have to live with the regret of knowing that you spent his last day in strop, arguing about me and upsetting your father because whether you like it or not, we are engaged and completely in love and it upsets him that you're not okay with it. So Alexis, don't do it for me, you can hate me as much as you like. Do it for your father and for yourself."

Her impassioned speech ended abruptly and an awkward silence settled over the two of them. "Fine. For Dad. Can you put him back on the phone?"

No more words were needed, no words could have made the situation any better so Kate just walked down the hall to Castle. Wordlessly, she pressed the phone into Castle's right hand and curled into his left side, his spare arm coming to rest over her shoulders.

They remained like that until Castle hung up the phone and said goodbye to his daughter.

_19 hours _

"We're _married_," Kate breathed. Her voice was reverent and then she giggled. Tough, badass federal agent Kate Beckett _giggled. _

"Yes we are, Mrs Castle," Rick replied, unable to keep the smile out of his voice.

They had arrived back at the house half an hour ago, heading straight to the bedroom to engage in some _we just got married _sex and both of them were unable to control their delirious happiness, not that either of them wanted to.

It turns out that getting married and some better-than-great sex is a damn good distraction from the fact your husband has 19 hours left to live.

_14 hours _

Kate awoke to the sound of distant coughing in the early hours of the morning. She looked over to check her alarm clock – it was just gone 3am and she couldn't see Castle in their room.

She jumped out of bed and checked around the various rooms before finding him in the living room. He was on the sofa, covered by a thin blanket and from across the room she could see that he was shivering slightly.

"Oh god, Castle."

Kate ran the short distance to him, kneeling down in front of him. He had fallen back asleep and as she ran her hand across his forehead she could feel that he was burning up.

Oh God. Even though she had already known this was likely to happen, it was one thing to know and it was an entirely different thing to see it happen in front of your eyes.

She went back to their bedroom to grab the quilt and her phone, and placed it gently over Castle hoping it would help in some way.

Then she dialled McCord's number, and was greeted with a tired "hello," almost immediately.

"He's burning up and he got out of bed at some point in the night and oh God please tell me you're close to finding an antidote or tell me that the doctor has figured something out or just _anything _please tell me that there's something we can do."

"Breathe, Kate. I'll send the doctor over to you guys and I'll let you know as soon as there's any headway on the case. We're doing everything we can," McCord replied.

"Thanks. Talk to you later," Kate replied before hanging up the phone and turning her attention back to Castle.

_13 hours _

The doctor hadn't really been able to help much. She administered a couple of medications that she said might help but none of them appeared to have any effect.

She warned Kate that things would probably only get worse from here on out.

_10 hours _

Kate had kept a steady vigil at Castle's side, sitting on the floor and drinking too much coffee in order to stay awake so that she could monitor any changes in his condition.

He began to stir around 7am and when he noticed the additional weight of the duvet as well as the blanket and saw Kate sitting on the floor beside him, he groaned.

"I didn't want to wake you."

"It's okay. Can I get you anything?"

"Just one thing… a good morning kiss," he laughed.

"You sap," she teased, but acquiesced anyway. "I love you. The doctor was here a few hours ago and she said to ring when you woke up. How are you feeling?"

"M'okay. What time is it?" he mumbled.

"Just gone 7." She could see him doing the mental math and figuring out that meant he had about 10 hours left. She couldn't begin to imagine what it must be like, to have a literal countdown to your death. Except that she almost felt like it was counting down to hers as well.

_1 hour _

Kate couldn't stop hovering around Castle, to the extent where he was almost getting annoyed with it. "Kate, I'm fine. Okay? I promise you, I'm okay."

Tears welled up in Kate's eyes, as they had been doing recurrently all day. "Castle. We haven't heard anything yet. It's… well, you know," she replied. She couldn't really bring herself to say out loud her husband was only expected to live for about another hour. She couldn't face it.

His arms wrapped around her, as they had done so many times in the past and in particular over the past day. She took some comfort from feeling the warmth of his body around her and that, along with being able to hear his heart beating was the only thing that made her feel at all better.

"Let's sit down on the sofa for a while, yeah?"

_45 minutes _

"Kate, I-" Castle began, and as Kate turned to look at him she saw his head roll back and his eyes close.

"Castle, Castle no!" she sobbed, reaching out two fingers to find a pulse on his neck, breathing a huge sigh of relief as she found one.

"Stay with me, damn it," she breathed as her fingers were dialling 911 and asking for the hospital that had already been made aware of the situation.

_10 minutes _

He was asleep. Hooked up to what seemed like a million different machines, and that consistent _beep _reassuring her that he hadn't left her yet and there was still time.

He still had a chance.

_5 minutes _

His heart rate was down. His hand felt colder.

She could barely see through the tears, now.

_2 minutes _

"We found it!" McCord yelled as she ran into Castle's hospital room, barely giving a second thought to the chair that she had knocked over in her haste to get the antidote there in time.

She pushed a syringe into the hands of Castle's doctor who added it to his IV drip.

And now we wait.

_-10 minutes _

He'll be okay.

**So, thoughts? **


	2. Chapter 2

**Someone asked me if I could write another chapter with everyone's reactions to Castle being okay. I was thinking about doing so anyway (even though I did mark the fic as complete) so here goes. **

**Also, to the reviewer who thought that the last time count should have been 1 minute - the countdown was going for the 24 hour time frame that the had to live so the final time count that I used was meant to denote 10 minutes **_**after**_** those 24 hours. He got the antidote 2 minutes **_**before **_**those 24 hours (gotta cut things fine!) And yes, I realise that the 24 hour time frame probably would not be so accurate and exact, but for the sake of the fic it was what they were counting down – it was the best estimate that they had to go on, and I imagine that if you're told you have 24 hours to live it's not unlikely that you would count down similarly. **

It was 20 minutes after the antidote had been administered that his eyes opened, looking around the room he was in before locking onto Kate and realising that his left hand was encased in hers.

"Kate," he tried to speak but found that his voice was raspy and it alerted him to the dryness and pain in his throat. Maybe some water first, then. _And some painkillers too,_ he thought, as the thumping headache made itself known.

"Shh, Castle," she soothed. "Don't try and speak, it's okay. It's okay Castle, you're okay."

Her thumb rubbed circles into his hand and _oh_ that was nice.

"Sorry to interrupt, but we really do need to check on Mr Castle's condition now that he's awake," a doctor said, making his way forward from the corner of the room. "I'm Dr Manning, I've been the one looking after you since you arrived. We've given you some general pain medication while you were unconscious but we can get you some more if needed. Your condition is actually very good, and you'll make a full recovery but it's likely you will feel weak for a while and you should probably take it easy for a few days. With luck we'll be able to get you discharged later tonight or tomorrow at the latest but please give it a few days before you fly back to New York."

"Water?" Castle asked, and the doctor nodded, calling for a nurse outside to bring in a cup of water.

"Can you sit up?" Dr Manning questioned.

"Let me help," Kate whispered, putting her arm under his waist and letting him lean on her as they moved him into a sitting position. She grabbed the plastic cup and brought it to his lips and he drank it gratefully, the cool water soothing to his throat.

"I'll leave you guys be for now, I'll be back to check on you later," Dr Manning said quietly, not wanting to impose on the couple.

"Better?" Kate, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

"A little. And I have you. So I'll be fine," he smiled and Kate couldn't stifle the smile that spread across her face.

"Well, you're back to your usual, sappy self, I see," she responded, and then sat on the edge of his bed and resting her head next to his. "And I'm so glad for that. Rick, I couldn't have . . . I was so scared. I thought I was going to lose you and I can't do that. Please Rick, please don't ever do that to me again."

Her voice was barely more than a whisper and he could hear the vulnerability in her tone. It was a side of Kate that she so rarely allowed anyone to see and he felt privileged that she trusted him with it.

"Never going to leave you. Never," he mumbled, a tired note making its way into his voice.

"I'll let you go back to sleep," Kate said, starting to move but stopped as his hand moved to her waist and held onto her tightly – well, as tightly as he could in his weakened condition anyway.

"No. I like having you in my arms. Don't move," he moaned. "And you need to sleep as well. You've barely slept in days, love."

They both fell asleep quickly, wrapped up in each other's arms and feeling nothing but pure happiness and relief that they still had one another.

* * *

Kate quit. She loved the job but she wanted to be back in New York with Castle – her _husband_, she thought incredulously. They had gotten married. Wow.

And not only Castle, she missed all of her family at the Twelfth Precinct and she missed her dad and she missed the city that she grew up in. DC and the job had been great, but it wasn't home.

Castle had asked her if she was sure, saying that he didn't want her to quit because of him. He promised that he'd not go near any of their cases and that he could spend more time in DC while she had to be there to establish herself, while she couldn't really spend as much time in NYC as they'd like.

But Kate had just smiled and shook her head. _Look around, Castle, _she gestured to the still unpacked boxes that littered her floors, _I've not even unpacked and it's been two months. I already missed you and everyone, I missed the city. This just made me want to stop waiting for another excuse to go back. _

Castle went online to book them two seats on a flight home as Kate rang McCord to resign. A part of her was sad about leaving behind such a great opportunity but McCord had said that her resignation had been predicted by just about everyone in the office. No one could fault her for it, and a fair few of them said that they'd have acted in the exact same way. In the end, they parted on good terms and Kate made a mental note to invite McCord, at least, to the wedding. They hadn't become great friends but they shared a mutual respect for one another and bonded easily over the job and the difficulties of being a woman in such a male-dominated environment. And she had, after all, saved Castle's life, something which Kate would be forever indebted to her for.

Packing the house up took almost no time at all, and that was sent along back to the loft in a truck that left DC the day before they did; Martha had promised to be around so that it could be unloaded.

Their last day in DC was spent enjoying the opportunity to enjoy each other without other people around. That was, until Castle had to go for a final checkup at the hospital where they told him that he was improving even faster than they would have expected. Everything was going great, considering he had been on his deathbed only a few days before.

Despite that, Kate was nervous about going back to New York. Lanie and the boys had understand why she took the job, but she wasn't so sure that they'd welcome her back with open arms. She had broken up their team. On top of that, her last interaction with Alexis had been entirely unpleasant. Their relationship had been strained to begin with, and her father coming so close to death again certainly wouldn't help. Kate was also pretty certain that the girl wouldn't take kindly to the fact they had gotten married, and not even told any of them.

These thoughts mulled through her mind during the plane ride home, while Castle dozed beside her. It always seemed to be the case – he'd sleep while Kate internally freaked out. Last tie about Royce's letter and now about how their homecoming would be received by all their family and friends.

At least Jim would be on her side. And probably Martha. She hoped.

It wasn't too long before the plane touched down and she gently shook Castle's arm to awake him. "We're home, love. Wakey wakey."

He was groggy and it took him a few moments to come around and Kate was almost ashamed by how adorable she found him when he was this sleepy. They really were sickeningly in love.

"Did you really just use baby talk on me, Katherine Beckett?" he asked as they picked up their hand luggage and made their way to the queue to get through security.

She grinned. "Maybe. But if you really want to full name me, you might want to try again." They hadn't actually discussed whether or not she was going to take his name.

His arm snaked around her waist, pulling her closer to him. "Oh, really?" she could feel his smile against her skin as he whispered to her. "Katherine Castle?" he murmurs, and _oh _does that sound good. "You're taking my name?"

"I thought I'd keep using Beckett professionally, but I think I'll change it outside legally, outside of work. It'll make it easier when we -" she paused. They hadn't discussed children and here she was about to announce that she wanted to take his name to make it easier _when _they had children? Nice going, Kate.

"And just what are you thinking about that's making your cheeks turn so adorably red?"

Breathe, Kate. She turned to face him, putting on her best poker face as she spoke again. "I was thinking of a baby that's a perfect little mix of you and me and how much easier it would be I had the same surname as our baby."

Castle stared at her, his eyes dark and intense as they swept over her, focusing on her currently flat stomach. He imagined it swollen with their child and a wave of emotion threatened to overcome him. Kate wanted to have children. With him. They had never properly discussed it, not until now.

"That is, if you want to have more children anyway," Kate added anxiously. "We never really discussed it." She looked away, her nerves getting the better of her.

"Sir, ma'am, if you could please move forward in the line," a security guard said as he walked past, gesturing to the gap that had grown as he and Kate had simply stood stationary.

Castle groaned. "Hold that thought, Kate. Let's get through security before the people behind us want to kill us." Of all the times and places they could be having this talk. And, oh God, he had left her in the lurch, forgetting to reassure that _yes, I want all of that_ in favour of trying to avoid a fuss at the airport.

They got through security quickly enough, although Kate could barely concentrate on what she was doing or saying. They grabbed their luggage and then made their way outside where Castle's driver awaited them.

Kate looked resolutely out the window until Castle placed his hand over hers and whispered her name.

"I do want children with you. Or, well, just one child if that's what you want," he chuckled nervously. "I'm sorry we started that conversation in such an impractical place and I'm sorry if I made you think that I didn't want the same thing because of it… But Kate, a family with you? It's all I want. I think maybe first we should just go home and clear the air with everyone first, though. And then we can talk about it more and decide what we want to do… and until then we can just have a lot of fun practicing."

"Okay, Castle," she smiled, thinking of a little girl with his eyes and her hair or a little boy who was a miniature replica of Castle. "Let's just go home, for now."

**I'm **_**really **_**not sure what happened here because I had no intention of including babies in this but then that discussion came out of nowhere and blindsided me. This was originally just going to be them going home and the reactions of their friends and family, so, um, possibly there'll be another chapter for that then? This is becoming more and more AU by the minute…**

**I should probably add as well that I'm not American and I'm not really sure what the details are on going through security and the like… so if that feels off, please know that I'm English and I've been to only been to America twice in my life so I apologise. **

**Let me know what you think, whether you want to see more of this or whether you think it would be better left as a two-shot (or whether I should have left it as a one-shot to begin with. If I do carry on with it, I'm pretty sure it won't become a baby!fic. It'll probably be one final chapter on how things work out back in NY. That said, I start writing and then weird things happen and the fic goes to places I didn't plan on, so who knows?) **

**Anyway, please do review and let me know your thoughts and I apologise for the inane and long authors note here. **


End file.
